So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
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I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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