Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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