the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
