I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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