i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
