What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
