It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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