I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i now understand why vodka
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize