i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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