i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
