She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
