Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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