I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
