is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
