that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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