??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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