fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
accomplished twins. life is a go
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
