No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
