from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
