i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its about making memories worth repressing
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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