Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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