I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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