The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
