sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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