Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
