He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
