Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
