do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
