the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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