one word: firstdatebathroomanal
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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