The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
