remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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