he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
