Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize