Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
