If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
