Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
