You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
