One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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