it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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