We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize