Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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