hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
