my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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