If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
