I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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