I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
