So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
