What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
