found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize