My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
