You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
