My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
