My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
