I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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