Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
