Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize