I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
