I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
