winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's shark week go big or go home
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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