im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
