i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
