but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize